I debated for awhile over whether I should post this or not. I've been on a short hiatus from social media, because frankly I was burned out. It's always a challenge to stay positive when you and the majority of your friends have serious health problems, so from time to time I think it's a good idea for chronically ill people to take a break and focus on themselves. On top of that, I'd had several negative interactions with others which made me question whether it was worth it to be a part of the community at all. I was afraid of being accused of attention-seeking behavior for talking about my problems. So I left for awhile.
There was definitely a part of me that considered just saying nothing and returning to social media a few weeks or months after my procedure. I wasn't in the mood for answering a lot of questions or defending my choices. It would have been easier, that's for sure. But it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. I have made many wonderful friends through social media, and I want to be honest about my situation. I also don't want anyone to worry unnecessarily. So... Here we go.
I will be having surgery on Wednesday (12/23). I will be having a total proctocolectomy with permanent end ileostomy. This decision was made for a variety of reasons, and my surgeon and I feel that it will result in the best outcome for me. This means that I will be in the hospital for Christmas, but after being diagnosed on my birthday in 2011, it feels like the natural progression of events. ;)
I'm not sure how much I'll be around social media before or after the surgery. Please don't be offended if I don't answer messages or texts. I've got a lot going on right now and really have no idea what shape I will be in after surgery. I appreciate the support so many of you have given me. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. Hugs!
Love,
Sarah
